In the New Testament, Jesus teaches people to pray by asking God what they need. Writers of the epistles, such as Paul, encourage the people to pray to God for one another and the community's needs.
To ask for what we need is to recognize our dependence upon God for everything. To pray for what we need is to deepen our relationship with God. Ceasing to pray for what we need is to allow the breakdown of our relationship with God and replace that relationship with a dependency upon ourselves or the things of the world.
We do not pray to convince God to do our will, but we pray so that our will becomes one with God's will. We do not control God. Instead, we accept that God loves us. We trust that God will accomplish what is necessary for our good and the good of others.
God desires to give us good things. We must, therefore, desire and hunger to receive what God desires to give. God can only give us what is good; thus, God cannot give us what is harmful. Gradually, the Holy Spirit transforms our desires into what God desires. We let go of our desires and seek only God’s desires. “Be it done to me according to your will.” We pray, “Create a clean heart in me, and put in me a steadfast spirit.”
The spiritual life can be seen as asking God for what we need and thanking God for what we have received. In this way, we realize that we are in a relationship with God who creates us and sustains us. Asking and thanking helps our relationship with God to be conscious and active. The more we become aware of how God lovingly responds to our needs, the more grateful we become, and our relationship with God deepens.
When we have received from God, an appropriate response is thanksgiving or gratitude. We express gratitude to God for what we have received. Thanksgiving acknowledges that our prayer has been heard. The way we show concern for the needs of others may be, for us, an act of thanksgiving to God.
We are not afraid to approach the All-Holy One with our needs because we know God loves us and we are important to God. We realize that everything we have and are is God’s gift. Without God, we are nothing. We realize we need and trust God's strength and love.
We don’t want to forget what we have asked from God. When our prayers are answered, we want to express our gratitude or thanksgiving to God. A prayer journal may help record our prayers of asking and how God has responded to our prayers.
The Eucharist is a marvelous prayer of asking and thanksgiving God. The word Eucharist means thanksgiving. We often cannot show our gratitude to God by simply saying "thank you." Instead, we gather with others to express our gratitude and commitment to give ourselves to others generously.
What do we ask for? The Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) teaches us this. We ask that God be recognized as holy, that God's plan for the world and humanity be realized, and that God's will be done on this earth as it is in heaven. We ask for the necessities of life, our daily bread. We ask for forgiveness for the wrong we have done and the hurt we have caused. We ask to be able to forgive others and be reconciled with them. We ask that we be delivered from sin and temptations too strong for us. We ask to be delivered from what is evil in our lives.
There is much more we can ask for. We ask to be able to pray, taste and feel God's presence, and experience God's love. Still, we are not trying to change God or make God do our will. We ask that our desires, hungers, and needs, and those of others, be transformed into what God desires. God’s desire may also be that we engage in providing for the hungers and needs of others.
And what if we pray for what is not God's will for us? What if our prayers seem to go unanswered? Perhaps God waits, gradually transforming our desires into what God desires. God can only give us what is good.
Since we depend upon God for everything, we pray for what God desires for us, others, and our world. God gradually shapes our desires to his desires for us. When we receive this gift, we are grateful.